and i do have a century's worth of rant to type out right now so i guess i'll get cracking. i shall skip the boring parts and those i cannot be bothered to type out. we finished exams blahblah

the usual shiz about how bad they were and how stuffed i am. and how bad my results are. but skip that: i have a few billion posts on those topics already and there will probably be more to come.

Today was Knock out volleyball finals. you could say that it was a disappointment, the results but to me, it wasnt' far from my expectation, just far from what my team is expected of. the results were : out of two games we won one and lost one

the first one we won which placed up in top 8. itw as a 5 set game up until the 20s on both sides mind you. i'm exhausted from it. it gave me so many heart attacks.

the second one we lost, in which our chances of going into top 4 were lost too. so we're going to play for 5th -8th tmrow.

disappointed? maybe. shamed? definitely. i did break the 8 year streak. i am quite miserable about it.

what i can say is by my most honest opinion, the chances of us winning the 9th year were slim.

i'm not trying to be pessimistic but it isthe reality

and i darenot say to anyone before today but seeing as it's over. what the heck.

Regretful? maybe. i guess we could've played better, maybe beat Blayney in the second game

after all, their best player was injured and spiking on one leg yet we still got owned.

we are so short.

i am definitely disappionted that we cannot continue such winning streaks. and i am embarrased that it has to be our team to break it. i get to go down in history as the shizzy captain that broke the streak. brilliant.

however i did not raise high expectations in fear of disappiontment though i was not pessimistic for miracles do happen and if we played our super best, there was a chance in winning.

Nevertheless our streak is broken and we must leg go of the shield to some other school.

it makes me sick thinking about it. i feel like i let everyone down, Mr Drew the most.

moving on i do hope we win our games tmrow. at least then we'll be 5th.

Terrific.

better luck next year, i hope that circumstances change by then.

Apart form our oponents our actual play wasn't too bad which is why i guess i can't say i'm too regretful.

we did have our times of shine but we had our times of the pits as well.

i definitely did.

the first5 sets up to the max definitely wore me out. the 2nd game to me felt like i was floating. but not in the good way. like the jelly-way.

we could've communicated better, hit better, recieved better and definitely SERVED BETTER.

that was a real downer.

well after such an unfortunate report my Volleyball ic an't say much. i dont want to talk about school seeing as it seems like such a drag after how i know i went for exams.

the above was written more than a week ago and i saved it in drafts and i finally have been bothered to maybe finish my post. yes, an achievement. since then i have been down up and down up and down up and down.
of a mountain of course
full of snow of course (:
I LOVE SKIING ! <3 snow forever and ever. which is one more reason i don't like ben dumping rubbish cos it CAUSES GLOBAL WARMING.
which means less snow for me =( which sucksss.
anyway moving on, i have photos and vids and such which i am obviously not botehred to post.
i shall try find the camera take out the memory card put it in upload it then enter it and hope for the best that it wont have another error on me like stupid facebook did last two times i tried to upload my jap photos. i need to rant.

school sucks. but i had forgotten so the few days i was at the snow, it was blissful. but now i'm back i can only sulk about it even more and just cower behind my large pile of work to do. and not do it. it's been a term since Japan and i miss it sorely and i wish i was still there and never have to leave from my holiday. i want my holiday.
holiday you ask, is that not now? well my holiday consists of worrying about my work, concluding i cant be bothered to do it, worrying about not getting it done, and ending up in a depressed mess of steph. that is just the beginning.
i have youth league to worry about. i found out the trials was in 5 weeks. my heart is wrenching in worry and nostalgia. and worry. and worry.
i want to lose some shiz from my belly. and my ass and my thigh while i'm at it. maybe my neck too.

life is imperfect and i acknowledge it, however the scope of it never ceases to surprise me. Disappointment is like a disease that spreads from one aspect of life to another, from one person to another. and it seems to like living in me.
and now you're going to think, oh shiz she's going to get all soppy and whatnot but i'm going to disappoint you again, i'm not going to. i believe that thoughts that i bear are relatively universal and i need waste my energy typing it out onto the world wide web which is in fact rather very insecure ( sorry if i know nothing about the internetskizz) and wasting your time reading it.
no one reads this.
EXCPET FOR YOU MIHO I LOVE YOU <3
BUT YOU'RE WASTIG YOUR TIME. i'ma very very bad blogger, i blog like a madcow and it doens't make sense, lacks punctuation and apparently is very boring. well, i agree
no one wants to hear about the problems that i possess because apparenty they are rather trivial, of course you woudl know. last of all, i don tblog often enough. not yet nearly enough.