Hup means hello and sup. Sup means 'What's up?'. Please, no one say the sky or ceiling or whatever that is physically above you right this very moment unless you have a poo on your head in which case I would be very happy for you. This is Step, I want to make more friends :)

I am kingbecauseyou guys said soand you know how you are.

MY LIFE IS NOW OVER COS I SPEND FROM 9 TILL 3 AT INTUITION ON SATURDAYS AND SUNDAYS.
AND ON FRIDAY ARVO TOO.

OH NO!
:( I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ANYTHING ANYMORE.
GOODBYE LIFE, I'LL SEE YOU IN ABOUT 4 MONTHS TIME...
I'LL MISS YOU.

CHEERS,
STEPH back to top?

So the past few days, everything has been about my failures and its sort of depressing me that that's all i am able to blog about. Don't get me wrong, i'd like to think of myself as a cheery person, always looking the better side of life but right now i can only feel failure in my bones.

So i heard that Harleen got into pwc! congrats! :P she always makes everything. like a boss...

pwc and ey, why do you treat me this way? i might be minutely less upset if you just gave me a rejection email. just any kind of response instead of making me think that i disgust you so much you won't even email me a rejection letter.

Sid got an interview and even though he didnt' make it through, the interviewer called him and told him that he didnt' make it through and they had an enjoyable chat for 20 mins about how Sid was probably too smart for the cadetship/accounting. That he needed diversity and accounting just didn't cater for that and he'd be perfect for investment banking. That's exactly what he wanted to hear i bet. What a nice interviewer. He got feedback on it. What a nice guy.

My rejection email for the UBS interview however was vastle different. IT was just an email saying i had not been short listed and that i am not allowed to ask for feedback. I do kind of wish they did give me some sort of feedback so i get something out of that experience but because they didn't, i didn't. I only feel rejection and an unwantedness. I guess that's probably because UBS did it through some sort of recuitment agency, and those are ( quite obviously now) cold hearted cos they dont' actually have an interviewer who cares for the company ( ie UBS).

And when i think of vball, it makes my stomach hurt.
so i must go see Mr Drew and apologize before this guilt worm eats me inside out.

I've also wasted an entire holiday on doing nothing. I mean it this time, i did nothing. Mr Mcdavitt has disappointed me as always and mainly because of that i have made no progress. Mr Mcnicol is too busy play WOW to mark my major work and essays. I guess Mai is my only consolation, she's the only one who replied. I love Mai.

So instead of doing work, i just sat around listening to jap conversations, feeling better about myself when i listen to band 1 and feeling jelly when i listen to band 6. I also listened to viet speaking and their language sounds a bit funny. I also listened to chinese and i am a bit jelly that erin has a huge advantage cos even i understnad the speaking ( and THATS saying something). Now i wish i did chinese cos it's so easy.
Why do i struggle in jap speaking? i can't even be bothered anymore. it's no use.
I can't be bothered with anything in fact ecause all these failures have already killed my will to even try.
I'm now sounding very pathetic but i dont' care.
blogging is also wasting my time. i shoudl spend it on the reflection statement but because of Mcnicol ( again), i cannot do it because i'm not sure what to do.
well i guess i do because i read some during my procrastination but i just don't have the heart to put my heart in it. hah.

Well that's a pretty depressing post guys, you shoudln't be here reading it in the first place though. I'm just feeling very very very very fail.
I just hate being so disappointed about everything.

Cheers, ( hahaha)
Steph back to top?

ALREADY! so quick!
i haven't much to blog, i wonder if i can keep up during school term lol :P LAST TERM ZOMG
it makes me feel so old.
On another note, i think i will have to kill those people who have not handed stuff in to Yearbook.
WATCH OUT, I'M OUT TO EAT YOU D: <

Cheers,
Steph back to top?

There are two things that disappoint me greatly today.
one is whipping cream or unwhipped cream or wrongly whipped cream or cream that won't whip.

the second would be my english teacher. both of them.

make room for a third, which would be the person wasting time in front of a computer instead of making up for the time lost trying to whip the unwhippable cream.

Oh poo.

Happy 18th Birthday Erin!
you are ( quite officially now compared to all the other years where i have said this) old now.
But at least you can celebrate :P

Cheers,
Steph back to top?

so, i suck at talking. PwC has called everyone and i've yet to hear from them.

I want to dig a hole and sleep in it forever.
I hate interviews.

on a funnier note, i read this old birthday card that i gave my mother and i am the best speller in the world.
it read:

Dear Karn ( my mum's name is Karen)
Happy Birthday! wish yaor drems when you blow the cadls! enjoy your ##st/nd/th birthday! love from yoar tallta and yoar son, Stephanie and Lieslie ( my brother's name is Leslie)


Oh it's because of this that i suck at interviews now.

Cheers, Steph back to top?

i think it might be a record, this giant gap of no posts!
well firstly, I'M SEVENTEEN! AS OF A WEEK AND A HALF AGO! but it's still real weird when i think I'M SEVENTEEN! cos i don't feel that much different and now ERIN IS TURNING EIGHTEEN. my excitement over my own birthday is always overshadowed by how old i think she is :P
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH DW ERIN, ONLY 18 IT'S JUST THE START OF YOUR DETERIORATION!
nahh, you'll have a great 18th. :) idk what to get you but i'll think of something valuabe and memorable.
i could complain more about my english teachers.
stupid, so much for 3 day turn-over. i think he forgot about me :'( oh its reason to cry for.
and now i'm literally drowning neck deep in work. i can't get on top of it like i can't' get on top of a swimming pool that has high walls cos i have weak arm/ab muscles.
WHICH SUCKS.

and talking abotu vball makes me angry!
WHY WHY WHY MY PERFORMANCE IS SO BAD. I PLAYED 6 YEARS WITH TRAINIGN NEARLY EVERY WEEK AND I HIT LIKE A KITTEN. WORSE. I HIT LIKE A KITTEN THAT CAN'T HOLD IN ITS PEE. IT JUST AR;LKJAD;LKFJAE;RLKJA
THE BALL JUST DRIBBLES OVER AND IT MAKES ME SO MAD
I FEEL SO MAD
AND IT'S BEEN 2 WEEKS. nearly. SO SO MAD. i have shamed everyone
the team
myself
and Mr Drew.
i think i will apologize to him later for playing like he never taught me anything. i have also embarrassed myself in front of the year 10's 11's and 12.s they probably think that i'm only on the team out of pity and sympathy and GOD. EVEN FOR A BAD DAY OF VBALL, THIS IS THE WORST. I DONT' EVEN KNOW WHY, IT'S LIKE I COMPELTELY JUST ZONED OUT.
maggie was right, i just had to snap back in
BUT WHY DO I ALWAYAS LACKTHE COURAGE TO JUST HIT IT LIKE I DO IN TRAINING. I ALWAYS GO THE STUPID 40% AND AS A RESULT, EVEN LOLLIPOPS AREN'T EFFICIENT ADJECTIVES TO DESCRIBE HOW BAD IT WAS.
AND THE SERVING.
ARGH.
I DONT' EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE.
WHY DOES IT FRUSTRATE ME SO MUCH. I'M SO SORRY MR DREW, I COST YOU THE GOLD. THAT LOVELY GOLD THAT I COST YOU LAST YEAR AFTER 8 YEARS OF GOLDS. I'M AM ABSLUTE FAILURE IN BAULKO VBALL HISTORY AND I HATE IT.
I'M SORRY BAULKO.

i'm still very angry but i've now unlocked my caps lock. :( good thing nobody will read this cos they think i never post anymore. i'm sick of writing essays but at least my history and memory essay is finished meaning, I'LL NEVER HAVE TO WRITE A 'NEW' ESSAY AGAIN! YES YES YES YES YES!
that is somethign to celebrate for.
and now, to slink back into the corners of my warm bed and to sulk about how much i hate myself for failing in vball. i'm so ashamed.

Cheers, Steph :( back to top?