Hup means hello and sup. Sup means 'What's up?'. Please, no one say the sky or ceiling or whatever that is physically above you right this very moment unless you have a poo on your head in which case I would be very happy for you. This is Step, I want to make more friends :)

I am kingbecauseyou guys said soand you know how you are.

So the past few days, everything has been about my failures and its sort of depressing me that that's all i am able to blog about. Don't get me wrong, i'd like to think of myself as a cheery person, always looking the better side of life but right now i can only feel failure in my bones.

So i heard that Harleen got into pwc! congrats! :P she always makes everything. like a boss...

pwc and ey, why do you treat me this way? i might be minutely less upset if you just gave me a rejection email. just any kind of response instead of making me think that i disgust you so much you won't even email me a rejection letter.

Sid got an interview and even though he didnt' make it through, the interviewer called him and told him that he didnt' make it through and they had an enjoyable chat for 20 mins about how Sid was probably too smart for the cadetship/accounting. That he needed diversity and accounting just didn't cater for that and he'd be perfect for investment banking. That's exactly what he wanted to hear i bet. What a nice interviewer. He got feedback on it. What a nice guy.

My rejection email for the UBS interview however was vastle different. IT was just an email saying i had not been short listed and that i am not allowed to ask for feedback. I do kind of wish they did give me some sort of feedback so i get something out of that experience but because they didn't, i didn't. I only feel rejection and an unwantedness. I guess that's probably because UBS did it through some sort of recuitment agency, and those are ( quite obviously now) cold hearted cos they dont' actually have an interviewer who cares for the company ( ie UBS).

And when i think of vball, it makes my stomach hurt.
so i must go see Mr Drew and apologize before this guilt worm eats me inside out.

I've also wasted an entire holiday on doing nothing. I mean it this time, i did nothing. Mr Mcdavitt has disappointed me as always and mainly because of that i have made no progress. Mr Mcnicol is too busy play WOW to mark my major work and essays. I guess Mai is my only consolation, she's the only one who replied. I love Mai.

So instead of doing work, i just sat around listening to jap conversations, feeling better about myself when i listen to band 1 and feeling jelly when i listen to band 6. I also listened to viet speaking and their language sounds a bit funny. I also listened to chinese and i am a bit jelly that erin has a huge advantage cos even i understnad the speaking ( and THATS saying something). Now i wish i did chinese cos it's so easy.
Why do i struggle in jap speaking? i can't even be bothered anymore. it's no use.
I can't be bothered with anything in fact ecause all these failures have already killed my will to even try.
I'm now sounding very pathetic but i dont' care.
blogging is also wasting my time. i shoudl spend it on the reflection statement but because of Mcnicol ( again), i cannot do it because i'm not sure what to do.
well i guess i do because i read some during my procrastination but i just don't have the heart to put my heart in it. hah.

Well that's a pretty depressing post guys, you shoudln't be here reading it in the first place though. I'm just feeling very very very very fail.
I just hate being so disappointed about everything.

Cheers, ( hahaha)
Steph back to top?